SENIOR-ITIAS (If that's how you even spell it..)

Often Senior-itas comes in the middle of the school year. It's only the beginning and I'm already sick of it. The pressure to do SAT's, shoot another essay out your ass, join different groups it looks great on your college applications, college applications, find a job, senior dues. ARGGGGGGGGGh, when the hell will it be over and done with. Now I understand why some kids drop out. It isn't the pressure of friends, its because its so hard to keep in tack. I feel as though my body is in school but my mind isn't, my grades show different though at least. I'm so tired and stressed out and there's only one result of that and it's a serious burn out. I can't take it anymore. I can't strive to live up to everyone's complex expectations of me. "Kerstina your such a great student, with drive and an unexplainable potential, keep it up." I hate hearing that, there's no room for mistakes. When I begin to fail I go crazy and I can't explain it at all. My whole junior year was full of 60s and 70s and a few 80s and 90s, I went from being ranked number 5 in my class to probably 20 or something. Why you ask? Well it's because I'm not someone that deals with pressure to well. I have to live up to this standard that I have no control over, something else that pushes me is being the first of my parents children to go to college and trying to provide a better tomorrow for my family. Is that to much for a seventeen year old to be thinking about? I believe so, I can't even explain a 75 anymore, I can't even explain it. There's noone who listens because there's noone that cares. When I try to let people know what's going on in my head they brush it off with, "Don't worry it's just Senior-itias." MANNNNNNNN fuck senior-itias, step into reality people, listen to me. CAN ANYONE HEAR ME????